Yesterday was so productive. The run went well. Met new friends, acleong & jeremy and many more. Ran a total of 14km+. Shiok. Pity the sun spoiled the run. Was super duper hot sia. Anw, went to meet nanny & gracia after that. Meeting was super productive=)
Later got meeting again. Gotta register for AHM & passion run later.
Hehe...
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
9:11 AM
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Yesterday's meeting left me overwhelming and stressed. Yea stressed man. Though the SCC thing is off my shoulders I did not feel good about it. Then when finding out the rates for the various logistics we need, I was stunned by the charges by NParks for use of their parks. Which so happens to even exceed our initial budget. No idea man. Sicerely hope for replies for the emails I've send. Gotta go work later, run tml morning and meet jianyang after that, meet Student Advisory Centre on tuesday, hand in proposal to Citybank by friday. Loads to do, so little time. Wanna snooze!!!
Go play game then start...
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
10:23 AM
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Well, had PCS sports day yst, well only the usual suspects turned up, unusual being bryan chan!!! Man u gotta come more often yo. More the merrier. Haha. Played frisbee, bball, badminton. No one wans to play bball with me=( Too imba le they say. Haiz. Still we had fun.
Plan to play vball today. Practice my jump serve. Gotta work on the toss before anything else. If you guys have no idea what I am working on, here's a vid to illustrate:
Legs are shag now. Zzz.
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
9:24 AM
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Me in need of money!!! Why?
Cos........ . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . ME WAN GO FOR ARMY HALF MARATHON & PASSION RUN!!!
:)
Mum only allow me money to go for army half only. So this means I must save up enough for passion run which is $23!!!
Anyway, thanks to CYA, me, jianyang, bobo & tongxin are in charge of 2 projects. -__________-
Charity run & peer mentoring programme. Big stuff. Gonna be super busy this sem. Haha. Really hope that these projects work out and become successful.
Gyming with bros later...
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
11:02 AM
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Well, it sucks to be alone. Alone. Kept me thinking about loads of shit. For the past few days, alone moments meant hell for me. Emotionally that is. Staring at that sms multiple times. No idea how to move on. Now she's got me confused. What exactly does she want? What am I suppose to do now? I really have no idea. To woo u again or what? Does she even like me? I thought she made it super clear already? Why share it with me? It still doesn't change a thing at all. I'd realised that all this while, I didn't mean anything to her at all. She's never gonna like me anyway. Feeling darn cheated now. To think I've been wasting my feelings all this while. What a joke I am. I'm such a loser, a really big loser...
fengkai blogged at...
8:56 PM
Saturday, March 21, 2009
HAd the CYA thingy yesterday. Was super impressed with Simei Care Centre's infrastructure. If only all VWOs were like that, how great would that be!
Anyway, we came up with BIG ideas for the CYA event. Now my situation is my results aint gonna get me into NUS's social work degree, so I have to make my portfolio look nicer in order to be qualified to get in, my second option would be to play well enough for vball to impress the NUS coach and use vball as a means to get in. So I'll have to work hard on all aspects.
Jian yang & I currently have this super big idea. Hope to make it work. Hehe.
Did this for fun:
Your Birthdate Predicts You're Fearless
Ever since you were born, you've always been able to assert yourself.
You are confident in carving your own path. Soon enough, other people will be persuaded and follow along.
You are driven and competitive to the point of being impulsive. You'll do just about anything to win.
It drives you crazy when you have to stay still in life. You are too dynamic to stay stagnant.
Well it's volleyball frenzy once again. Haha. Played at IMH multi purpose hall with hong zhi & his frens. Was great. Didnt know there was such a place. Haha. It's been such a long time since I've played at such a high level. Initially I thought I would suck big time as his frens were either from xinmin sec or have played in open competitions before. Glad I was somewhat on par with some of them. Played A balls & B balls. Haha. Fun. Played vball again at cch just now. Practiced abit of jump serve.
Going gym to meet ss now. Later go foc pre camp find twig & chuan.
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
2:50 PM
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
It's been a while since I've laughed about something silly. It's a great feeling and then you realised how simple life really is.
Me: Think I wanna ask the hair dresser to help me leave a tail at the back. Nice hor? Youngest bro: No lah. why u think u horse ah?
Haha. Silly and simple. Love such moments. Had my session with peggy's fren just now. Made me realise more things. Expectations dictate how we feel about life. Simplicity is hard to find nowadays. I'm so caught up with what's happenning around me that I fail to notice the simplest and life rewarding things that happen around me.
Sometimes when we hit a major stumbling block, we may think that it is the end of the world. But it can also pave a way to new beginnings and something more. Had my family situation not be as such, I don't think I'll meet haha, ss, chuan & twig and even her. Now that it has happened, it's time to hope for something new to come by. Maybe a new whole new chapter of my life?
:)
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
1:26 PM
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
So darn proud of arsenal. Finally a scoreline that describes the club. 4-0 blackburn. Haha. High. So I spend yst slacking & snoozed at 7.30pm. Woke up at 8+ Met up with chuan & haha at the gym. Did back, biceps, abs (man the six pec's showing!!!) & triceps. Went to have Mr Bean with haha after that. Love it.
Can't sleep. Weather's abit warm tonight. After campbell show & reading abit of "Alis", eye bags are growing heavier.
Snoozy!!!
fengkai blogged at...
12:51 AM
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Crap crap crap. Suburban run flags off at 8 and yet I'm still blogging at such a time where I'm supposed to be completing around 7km by now. Hmm. How can this be? Is there any logical explaination to all of this?
YES!!!
Reason: I OVERSLEPT!!!
KNS!!!
Sian diao like siao sia. My alarm clock spoil.
-____________________-
Maybe I shouldnt have listened to manny when she ask me to stop disturbing her & go snooze. Haha. Oh well. Just taking it as a lesson learnt. Dun disturb manny before a run. Haha. I used to laugh at those who overslept before a run in the morning. I mean I thought it was dumb and lame reason. NOW I KNOW WHY!!!
Zzz. Retribution I suppose. I'm done with 2 books le. Left with 2. And I wanna go to the library!!! Haha where r u???
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
8:41 AM
Friday, March 13, 2009
Working later. Enjoying my evo 5 now.
Love the sound quality. Hehe.
Kinda bored now. Think I'll go read "dreamrider". Anyway. Returned "loser's guide to life and love" le. If only things went like in the book. Btw, it was kinda crap but I liked the writing style of the author. Haha.
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
11:50 AM
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Today was good. Had my session with peggy's friend in the morning before going to sch after lunch at home for gym. Saw sharyl there, haha, was so random. Gymmed till 3.30 & met up with haha & eng teck to go to the IT show together. Was alright I guess. Bought a 600gb hard disk, evo 5 sound system & a earpiece. Feeling rather satisfied now nonetheless. Haha.
This is one of the rare times I actually spend and shop. Well I do spend but it's mostly on food so hence the reason why I'm still broke now. Hehe =) Anyway, I usually shop for sports stuff or IT stuff. Period. Clothes wise, hardly. Hahaha.
Time flies and it's 10.30 now.
Snoozy...
fengkai blogged at...
10:19 PM
Well, hadn't been snoozing well for the past few days. Sucks. Went to bed at 10 last nite and didnt fall asleep till around 11? Been waking up super early too. Mum says I'm not relaxed enough. Yea I probably am, I guess?
Met up with haha yst. Stunned him twice.
Haha: Wan go gym not? Me: Nah I'm thinking about going to the library. Haha: 0.0
Yea, why would I be doing in the library u may ask? Haha me neither. Just thought of letting me read something to pass the time since I have very weird erratic working hours. Haha. Plus the bed rides from vivo to home are super long, reading helps in a way. Haha. At the library, I made a new library card and borrowed 4 books. Currently reading "The loser's guide to life and love: a novel". Very untypical of me but yea, haha. Thanks to zaney and jiahui for yr recommendations. Thinking of picking up reading as a hobby. I have till 1st april to complete the books. Hope I do in time:)
Well, I had the BEST dream I've had in a long time. Most probably cos it allowed me to close to her. Not the kissinghuggingholdingofhands kind of dream but something else that was pure and innocent. Camp setting. It was great, it felt so real. Very real. So real that I never once thought that I was dreaming in the first place. Then it all ended. In the dream, we spoke like normal, like before, before I think I did the dumbest, stupidest thing in the world. I missed before, it was pleasurable, memorable.
I still remember how I dragged ivan along to her bunk back in leadership camp and pretended to be checking in on them or something like that. Go figure. Haha. Everything was great, simple, sincere, great. Now it's gonna be close to a month since we last met though I saw her at the football court after gym. I to,d myself it didnt matter anymore, it still did apparently. When it comes to things like that this, I'm a major loser. Period. I dunno how to go about doing this kind of thing or interpreting whatever sms she replied me. I was really hopeless. I thought this, I thought that, I knew I was so into u, well I still am. Everything I thought didnt end up as I thought it will be. I ... I thought that ......, well it's over now I think. I dun wan it to be over. Well I just dun expect anything anymore.
Initially, everything was great. Going smoothly, till I realised maybe what I thought may not be what she thought. I kinda realised that months back but I didn't care, I was so into u then. Until I complicated things. :( I really enjoyed coming to sch on mondays cos her cls would just be a few rooms away and if I'm lucky, I would see her. On tuesdays I'll purposely drag my bros or whoever's with me and walk pass the football court to say hi to her. Well, I thought about her day and night. I thought about how things would be, how it could be, how well it'll go. I dun even know how to continue from here now, I did notice that this will be the longest blog post I'll blog about without pictures.
I miss her. I miss her badly. Looking into your eyes is one of the things that keeps me going. It was a luxury, now, it's history. I brainstormed about places we go to together, how it'll turn out, I wanted to take her to tom's for a first date. Savouring the rich chocolate icecream Kronos (owner of tom's) would serve us. Walking the treetop trail with you at 6 and watching the beautiful sunset together. So many "I thought"s and "I hope"s before I realise that "hey, it's not going to happen."
I could sense the change in replies a long time ago but I chose to ignore them, I really thought she meant it and feel the same way about me. But it was not to be I guess. Long waits before a reply with me constantly checking the phone like the characters in "he's just not that into you", and the long anticipation made me well "I dont know how to describe it" kind of feeling. "She likes you lah, just give her time." That's what most of my frens say. Only my bros kept me grounded and advised me not to fall too deep in, well sorry guys, I already did. The reason that I still haven asked her out was because I respected her answer. I wouldnt know what to say now even if we did go out. I'll just keep quiet and not say a word. :( Cause I don't know what to say to her anymore.
Least we're still talking abit. Now come to think of it, by blogging this out, u guys would propably think that I'm a loser right. U know what, I wholeheartedly agree with u. I am a big fat loser. A loser who would only wish for things to happen instead of doing something about it in this matter. Who the hell wants to date a loser, who would want a boyfriend who's emotional despite appearance and a big fat loser. I don't hope to gain anything out of this, I don't hope for anything anymore. I used to believe that sincerity is key. That's ... well, I dont believe in it anymore. I don't think I ever be cut out for this. Never ever... Reality's right, there's no such thing as love at first sight and happily ever after. Well, maybe after bloggin all of this out, I'll feel better. Well I'm not...
I can't wait to see zaney, it's like even when life still sucks biggy, there's still this one person apart from my bros who is still capable of making me feel better. Dearie date me when u're free from yr commitments eh!!!
Going gym and then to IT show with haha later.
Arsenal got through to the top 8 of champions league after beating roma on penalties.
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
8:30 AM
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Well, being without an ez-link card in singapore is like a physically-disabled person being cooped up in a building with no ramps, lifts and many other things that hampered their movement, literally. BUS FARES ARE REDICULOUS!!! Despite our country offering one of the lowest transport fares in the world. This is still bullshit. Even in the recession, they arent letting us off and still charging us at astronomous rates. So what if they reduce the price (If u mean reduce by a few cents then yea, they did that) THIS IS @#$%^&*@$#@!^#*&@&#$@%#^@#!!!
Oh well, anyway. Thanks haha, chuan & ss for showing up in the east to hang out when u knew abt my wallet's sudden disappearance. It meant alot. We slacked, walked around and ended up in the same lan shop we played at when u guys went for night cycling. As usual, the twig was nowhere to be found as he is attempting a different diet program in malaysia with the aim of fun and evolving into a branch. Good luck to u, twig and do let us witness your success when u return.
Well, guess that whether I see u or not doesnt matter anymore. Nothing does. No matter how painful it is to type this out, it doesnt matter anymore. I wish u well and take care.
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
10:12 PM
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Darn I just lost my wallet. Yes, the one I sew myself personally when I was still working at levi's. Got some real sentimental value to me. =( Was also the reason why I'd never bothered to change my wallet all these while. 2 years le. Sian diao.
Just realised I needa get loads of stuff man. Wallet, black formal shoes, black pants, digital sports watch. Zzz.
Gotta go for work le. First day!!! The mussel guy restaurant at vivo city lvl 2!!!
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
3:50 PM
Friday, March 6, 2009
Swimming at jurong east swimming complex was damn FUN!!! Met up with ah chuan & haha. Damn that twig ps us. Zzz. Too bad u missed out on all the fun & the SUN. Haha. Played the lazy river, slides and wave. Swam abit too. Haha. Went to chuan's hse after that to cook noodle. Haha. 3 of us shared 5 packs of noodle. Was awesome. Chuan's bed is so comfy. Haha. Went to borders with haha after that. Read mags for an hour before home sweet home. Haha.
Bb...
fengkai blogged at...
8:28 PM
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Today was alright. Went to watch b-boy's match against punggol today. Was disappointed as I felt that it was damn wasted that they lost. But never the less, they did their best. Good job.
Went to gym after that and boy was it tough. Did legs, chest, shoulders and abit of triceps. After all that, I did around a 100 jump serves I think and my legs are aching.
Tml's swimming with chuan, haha & twig. Can't wait.
Snoozy!!!
fengkai blogged at...
10:18 PM
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Watched alot of bboy's national matches today. Saw my old coach michael, my present coach and raymond. Haha. Well the standard for most teams dropped alot compared to my time. However, I was quite impressed with some players in teams like cat high and punggol sec. Their jumping abilities are awesome. Think cat high or punggol will win the tournament. Went to aunt janet's hse after that. As usual, grandma couldnt rmb who I was. Oh well. Then I saw JJ, my heart sank. My favourite dog could not move its hind legs and had to crawl towards me. My playmate for many years now in such a state due to its age, saddening.
Anyway, I'm going for another job interview tml.
Happy bdae little bro...
Snoozy...
fengkai blogged at...
9:24 PM
Monday, March 2, 2009
Charice pempengco's amazing. Amazing.
Treat for u guys
One of my favourite classics dedicated to you:
Well I don't know what to say. Thank you for everything and letting me know. Hope you're doing fine and I'm not going to make things hard for you and well, listen and respect your decision. Thank you so much. I'll treasure whatever memory I have had with you and take care.
Snoozy...
fengkai blogged at...
10:57 PM
Sunday, March 1, 2009
No sch's boring. Yes it is. Least I still have some form of entertainment without having spend too much cash.
Firstly thanks to evan for the movie treat. Will definitely meet u and treat u again k. Marley & me's not bad a movie. Haha. Watched run fat boy run on my com too. 3 movies in a week le. Still watching definitely maybe. Hehe.
Saw pearlynn off at the airport before going to cch to play vball. Kept training my jump serve. Was alrite but I still hope to add a little bit of speed and strength into it. Hopefully I can use it for POL-ITE in june =) Well I feel I've improved somemore ever since my last IVP match. Can't wait for 'b' boys nationnals to end so that we can resume training.
Snoozed from 4.30 to 8.30 yst noon and snoozed again after watching whose line is it anyway and making the band 4. Haha. Think I'm gonna FM and bball today. Still waiting for my job call up though...
